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AND THE HOSTS OF THE SAMAs ARE…

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#TheThabootyShow coming to you from Durban…we pranked @somizi Re #SAMA22 and he is UNPRANKABLE …tune in @5fm

A photo posted by Thando Thabethe (@thando_thabethe) on

Thando Thabethe and Somizi have been announced as the hosts of the 2016 South African Music Awards, which takes place in Durban this Saturday.

#sama22

A photo posted by Somizi (@somizi) on

The pair will be accompanied by Khanyi Mbau and radio DJ Phat Joe, who will be covering candid interviews with winners moments after receiving their award.

Obvs, the red carpet is a big moment for the event, as we want to see who and what the celebs are wearing, so Bonang, Pearl Modiadie and Lunga Shabalala will have the red-carpet action covered for the night.


KWEZI: OUR OWN SOUTH AFRICAN SUPERHEO

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The first South African comic book comic book to be made available at a major retailer is now available in Exclusive books nation wide and we are more than excited.

Kwezi, created by illustrator Loyiso Mkize, centres around a 19-year-old boy who discovers that he is gifted with superpowers which in turn shifts his entire life away from the normal day-to-day life of a teenager. Kwezi, which mean ‘star’ in Zulu and Xhosa, likes girls and fashion, deals with local issues, makes refrences to local jokes and uses slang that rings true to the streets of Jozi. Set in the City of Gold, this comic book’s South African context makes it easy for locals to relate to the characters.

We are on the way to get our copy, are you?

IT’S OVER: ZAYN MALIK AND GIGI HADID

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(Image: Pillowtalk screenshot)

Another one bites the dust, and this time it’s supermodel Gigi Hadid and ex-1D star Zayn Malik.

E! News exclusively confirmed the split after being together for about seven months. According to an E! news source, the pair had a few rough patches but the exact reason for their split is still unknown.

“During her birthday they were fighting,” an insider tells E! News, adding that they weren’t doing well then, and have “broken up and got back together a few times.”

Another source reveals that while they have split, there’s no knowing what the future may hold for the couple. “Zayn and Gigi did break-up, but they can get back together tomorrow. It’s all very unclear what’s going on between them now. They were having some issues that involved communication and getting along.”

The source adds, “Gigi is really sad about this, and in a way would like to work it out. It’s more about that constant contact with Zayn that she misses and they did get very close.”

Could this have something to do with the girl Zayn was spotted hiking and holding hands with not too long ago?

THE SAMAS 2016 ROUNDUP: WHAT YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

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If you couldn’t catch the South African Music Awards recently, and are sure you won’t be catching up to it, we have your problem solved right here. Here is a roundup of the looks, events, wins and happenings that caught our attention and has people speaking:

1. Tresor lives the dream

After moving to SA only eight years ago and making ends meet by working as a car guard, Tresor walked away with a SAMA for Best Pop Album –proving dreams do come true. 

 

2. Proudly South African moment

We were enthralled when Nathi Mankayi, Karlien van Jaarsveld and Niel Somers joined forces to give us a rendition of Nomvula

 

3. Somizi locks lips with a woman.

After announcing that he will become 90 percent straight, albeit temporarily, in support of SABC radio stations playing 90 percent local music, Somizi gave fellow host Thando Thabethe a passionate kiss. #shock

 

4. Mettalic was the memo:

(Image: Instagram/@bonang_m @nandimngoma @leratokganyago)

(Image: Instagram/@bonang_m @nandimngoma @leratokganyago)

Bonang Matheba, Nandi Mngoma and Lerato Kganyago all rocked the SAMAs in stunning metallic gowns, showing us all that silver and gold never go out of style.

 

5. AKA and Bonang PDA alert!

Backstage pics of Bonang Matheba and AKA being touchy-feely with each other surfaced, and boy we just love the cuteness.

 

6. Some dresses left little to the imagination

(Images: Instagram/@ boity @naadianakai)

(Images: Instagram/@ boity @naadianakai)

Well…the proof is in the pudding…

 

7. On one hand Dapper is always classic…

(Images: Instagram/@2freshles @akaworldwide)

(Images: Instagram/@2freshles @akaworldwide)

Da L.E.S and AKA showed up Oscar-ready in tuxedos and bow ties.

 

8. …On the other hand, chilled vibes are always welcomed.

Riky Rick amused us all when he showed up wearing denim jeans and an open shirt. Clearly it was just another day for him. 

 

9. Nathi Mankayi dubbed the King of the SAMAs

❤️❤️thank you to every one for the support for #sama22 A photo posted by Nathi Mankayi (@nathi_mankayi) on

Walking away with 5 SAMA awards, including Best Male Artist, earned the artist the elite title.

 

10. Minnie Dlamini: a vision in white

A video posted by Minnie (@minniedlamini) on

Minnie Dlamini gets our vote for best dressed. The starlet stunned in an elegant white Gert-Johan Coetzee gown.

TODAY’S HEADLINES AND HOT STORIES

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Sometimes it gets a bit crazy trying to keep up with all the rich and famous peeps. So, in case you missed out, here are the biggest moments you need to know about today:

BEIBER FOLLOWED SELENA ON IG

Once again, Justin Bieber teased the Jelena supporters with the hope of a rekindled romance when he followed her on Instagram last night. Biebs unfollowed Selena almost two years ago, but has teased us with many throwback pics of the two of them – even one with the two of them kissing. We reckon that whoever deciphered his “following” list deserves a Bells!

 

CELEBRATING THE RETURN OF THE POSH LOB

Victoria Beckham cut her luscious long brunette locks into a lob and gave us the nostalgic Posh lob feels all over again.

#chopchop X @lukehersheson @wendyrowe using Victoria Beckham make up X Kisses VB

A photo posted by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on

 

Kisses in the sunshine X Thank u @lukehersheson #newhair @wendyrowe #VBesteelauder X VB

A photo posted by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on

 

 

LENNOX LEWIS AND WILL SMITH TO CARRY MUHAMMAD ALI’S COFFIN

Former heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis, 50, and Will Smith, 47, who played Ali in the 2001 movie Ali, will be two of the pallbearers at Ali’s funeral this Thursday.

 

 

PEARL THUSI ASKS CREW TO STRIP DOWN FOR HER SEX SCENE

In her new role in a local feature film, Catching Feelings, directed by comedian Kagiso Lediga, Pearl has to film a sex scene. We’ve heard from many stars that this is extremely nerve-wracking as you’re surrounded by crew – but when you’re Pearl Thusi, you get to ask the crew members to strip down, too. You know, to make you feel more comfortable. Makes sense to us!

 

 

J’SOMETHING OPENS UP ABOUT LOSING HIS FATHER

Our prayers and thoughts go out to this week’s cover star and Grazia’s fave guy, J’Something, who opened up last night about losing his father two days ago. We’re thinking of you J!

This is my dad… 2 days ago whilst on tour he passed away. Hardest thing I have ever had to deal with… People close to me understand what I’m feeling! What I wanted to share with you is the reality of what we do… After he passed on I had to jump on stage. Smile. Dance. Sing. Next day same thing. My choice. In a way doing what I love helped me deal with it. I love him beyond words… He made me. I wanna thank all the people around me that sent me messages and comforted me! I am now on a plane to Portugal to be with my brother… To raise a glass to him. I wanted to also thank you all for always cheering me on in all that I do… Surrounding me with your prayers. We are nothing without people and I wouldn’t be on planet earth with this dude right here… My father… RIP Carlos Fonseca aka Papa I will miss you… But I am gonna make you proud in all that I do.

A photo posted by J’Something™ (@jsomethingmusic) on

 

LOOT LOVE SLAMS BACK AT BODY SHAMERS

TV personality Luthando “LootLove” Shosha is not having any of the hate that people are throwing her way WRT the SAMAs pic she posted on Saturday. Loot stunned in a strapless pink gown with a thigh-high slit, but unfortunately the internet trolls came out to play commenting on the “dimples” on her thigh and the colour of the knees. Loot took to her IG to address the haters – and shake off all the hate at the same time (you tell ‘em Loot!):

Backstage Day Ones. ❤️ #SkhandaQueen #KingLoot : @blaq_smith

A photo posted by Luthando Shosha (@lootlove2) on

 

 

DANIEL BARON’S SONG IS OUR NEW EARWORM

Local singer Daniel Baron’s latest single, Children Of The Sun, is climbing to the top of the charts and we can’t help but bob our heads and tap our feet. Join us, will you?

 

 

 

HILLARY CLINTON SNATCHES DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION

Hilary Clinton has made American history as the first woman to be the primary delegate in the race for the presidential elections when she beat out competitor Bernie Sanders. Well done, Hillary!

THE POWERFUL LETTER STANDFORD RAPE VICTIM READ TO HER ATTACKER

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(Image: Getty)

In January 2015, two Stanford graduate students were biking across campus when they found a man on top of an unconscious half-naked woman behind a dumpster.

In March this year, a California jury found the student – Brock Allen Turner – guilty of three counts of sexual assault. While he faced a maximum sentence of 14 years, Turner only received a sentence of six months in county jail and probation, as the judge claimed he feared that a longer sentence would have a “severe impact” on Turner, who is reportedly a champion swimmer aspiring in competing in the Olympics. Deplorably, this was a point that was repeatedly mentioned in the trial.

The 23-yeard-old victim addressed Turner directly in court, detailing the severe impact his actions had on her. She provided her statement to BuzzFeed News. Read her statement in full below:

 

Your Honor, if it is all right, for the majority of this statement I would like to address the defendant directly.

You don’t know me, but you’ve been inside me, and that’s why we’re here today.

On January 17th, 2015, it was a quiet Saturday night at home. My dad made some dinner and I sat at the table with my younger sister who was visiting for the weekend. I was working full time and it was approaching my bed time. I planned to stay at home by myself, watch some TV and read, while she went to a party with her friends. Then, I decided it was my only night with her, I had nothing better to do, so why not, there’s a dumb party ten minutes from my house, I would go, dance like a fool, and embarrass my younger sister. On the way there, I joked that undergrad guys would have braces. My sister teased me for wearing a beige cardigan to a frat party like a librarian. I called myself “big mama”, because I knew I’d be the oldest one there. I made silly faces, let my guard down, and drank liquor too fast not factoring in that my tolerance had significantly lowered since college.

The next thing I remember I was in a gurney in a hallway. I had dried blood and bandages on the backs of my hands and elbow. I thought maybe I had fallen and was in an admin office on campus. I was very calm and wondering where my sister was. A deputy explained I had been assaulted. I still remained calm, assured he was speaking to the wrong person. I knew no one at this party. When I was finally allowed to use the restroom, I pulled down the hospital pants they had given me, went to pull down my underwear, and felt nothing. I still remember the feeling of my hands touching my skin and grabbing nothing. I looked down and there was nothing. The thin piece of fabric, the only thing between my vagina and anything else, was missing and everything inside me was silenced. I still don’t have words for that feeling. In order to keep breathing, I thought maybe the policemen used scissors to cut them off for evidence.

Then, I felt pine needles scratching the back of my neck and started pulling them out my hair. I thought maybe, the pine needles had fallen from a tree onto my head. My brain was talking my gut into not collapsing. Because my gut was saying, help me, help me.

I shuffled from room to room with a blanket wrapped around me, pine needles trailing behind me, I left a little pile in every room I sat in. I was asked to sign papers that said “Rape Victim” and I thought something has really happened. My clothes were confiscated and I stood naked while the nurses held a ruler to various abrasions on my body and photographed them. The three of us worked to comb the pine needles out of my hair, six hands to fill one paper bag. To calm me down, they said it’s just the flora and fauna, flora and fauna. I had multiple swabs inserted into my vagina and anus, needles for shots, pills, had a Nikon pointed right into my spread legs. I had long, pointed beaks inside me and had my vagina smeared with cold, blue paint to check for abrasions.

After a few hours of this, they let me shower. I stood there examining my body beneath the stream of water and decided, I don’t want my body anymore. I was terrified of it, I didn’t know what had been in it, if it had been contaminated, who had touched it. I wanted to take off my body like a jacket and leave it at the hospital with everything else.

On that morning, all that I was told was that I had been found behind a dumpster, potentially penetrated by a stranger, and that I should get retested for HIV because results don’t always show up immediately. But for now, I should go home and get back to my normal life. Imagine stepping back into the world with only that information. They gave me huge hugs and I walked out of the hospital into the parking lot wearing the new sweatshirt and sweatpants they provided me, as they had only allowed me to keep my necklace and shoes.

My sister picked me up, face wet from tears and contorted in anguish. Instinctively and immediately, I wanted to take away her pain. I smiled at her, I told her to look at me, I’m right here, I’m okay, everything’s okay, I’m right here. My hair is washed and clean, they gave me the strangest shampoo, calm down, and look at me. Look at these funny new sweatpants and sweatshirt, I look like a P.E. teacher, let’s go home, let’s eat something. She did not know that beneath my sweatsuit, I had scratches and bandages on my skin, my vagina was sore and had become a strange, dark color from all the prodding, my underwear was missing, and I felt too empty to continue to speak. That I was also afraid, that I was also devastated. That day we drove home and for hours in silence my younger sister held me.

My boyfriend did not know what happened, but called that day and said, “I was really worried about you last night, you scared me, did you make it home okay?” I was horrified. That’s when I learned I had called him that night in my blackout, left an incomprehensible voicemail, that we had also spoken on the phone, but I was slurring so heavily he was scared for me, that he repeatedly told me to go find [my sister]. Again, he asked me, “What happened last night? Did you make it home okay?” I said yes, and hung up to cry.

I was not ready to tell my boyfriend or parents that actually, I may have been raped behind a dumpster, but I don’t know by who or when or how. If I told them, I would see the fear on their faces, and mine would multiply by tenfold, so instead I pretended the whole thing wasn’t real.

I tried to push it out of my mind, but it was so heavy I didn’t talk, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t interact with anyone. After work, I would drive to a secluded place to scream. I didn’t talk, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t interact with anyone, and I became isolated from the ones I loved most. For over a week after the incident, I didn’t get any calls or updates about that night or what happened to me. The only symbol that proved that it hadn’t just been a bad dream, was the sweatshirt from the hospital in my drawer.

One day, I was at work, scrolling through the news on my phone, and came across an article. In it, I read and learned for the first time about how I was found unconscious, with my hair disheveled, long necklace wrapped around my neck, bra pulled out of my dress, dress pulled off over my shoulders and pulled up above my waist, that I was butt naked all the way down to my boots, legs spread apart, and had been penetrated by a foreign object by someone I did not recognize. This was how I learned what happened to me, sitting at my desk reading the news at work. I learned what happened to me the same time everyone else in the world learned what happened to me. That’s when the pine needles in my hair made sense, they didn’t fall from a tree. He had taken off my underwear, his fingers had been inside of me. I don’t even know this person. I still don’t know this person. When I read about me like this, I said, this can’t be me, this can’t be me. I could not digest or accept any of this information. I could not imagine my family having to read about this online. I kept reading. In the next paragraph, I read something that I will never forgive; I read that according to him, I liked it. I liked it. Again, I do not have words for these feelings.

It’s like if you were to read an article where a car was hit, and found dented, in a ditch. But maybe the car enjoyed being hit. Maybe the other car didn’t mean to hit it, just bump it up a little bit. Cars get in accidents all the time, people aren’t always paying attention, can we really say who’s at fault.

And then, at the bottom of the article, after I learned about the graphic details of my own sexual assault, the article listed his swimming times. She was found breathing, unresponsive with her underwear six inches away from her bare stomach curled in fetal position. By the way, he’s really good at swimming. Throw in my mile time if that’s what we’re doing. I’m good at cooking, put that in there, I think the end is where you list your extracurriculars to cancel out all the sickening things that’ve happened.

The night the news came out I sat my parents down and told them that I had been assaulted, to not look at the news because it’s upsetting, just know that I’m okay, I’m right here, and I’m okay. But halfway through telling them, my mom had to hold me because I could no longer stand up.

The night after it happened, he said he didn’t know my name, said he wouldn’t be able to identify my face in a lineup, didn’t mention any dialogue between us, no words, only dancing and kissing. Dancing is a cute term; was it snapping fingers and twirling dancing, or just bodies grinding up against each other in a crowded room? I wonder if kissing was just faces sloppily pressed up against each other? When the detective asked if he had planned on taking me back to his dorm, he said no. When the detective asked how we ended up behind the dumpster, he said he didn’t know. He admitted to kissing other girls at that party, one of whom was my own sister who pushed him away. He admitted to wanting to hook up with someone. I was the wounded antelope of the herd, completely alone and vulnerable, physically unable to fend for myself, and he chose me. Sometimes I think, if I hadn’t gone, then this never would’ve happened. But then I realized, it would have happened, just to somebody else. You were about to enter four years of access to drunk girls and parties, and if this is the foot you started off on, then it is right you did not continue. The night after it happened, he said he thought I liked it because I rubbed his back. A back rub.

Never mentioned me voicing consent, never mentioned us even speaking, a back rub. One more time, in public news, I learned that my ass and vagina were completely exposed outside, my breasts had been groped, fingers had been jabbed inside me along with pine needles and debris, my bare skin and head had been rubbing against the ground behind a dumpster, while an erect freshman was humping my half naked, unconscious body. But I don’t remember, so how do I prove I didn’t like it.

I thought there’s no way this is going to trial; there were witnesses, there was dirt in my body, he ran but was caught. He’s going to settle, formally apologize, and we will both move on. Instead, I was told he hired a powerful attorney, expert witnesses, private investigators who were going to try and find details about my personal life to use against me, find loopholes in my story to invalidate me and my sister, in order to show that this sexual assault was in fact a misunderstanding. That he was going to go to any length to convince the world he had simply been confused.

I was not only told that I was assaulted, I was told that because I couldn’t remember, I technically could not prove it was unwanted. And that distorted me, damaged me, almost broke me. It is the saddest type of confusion to be told I was assaulted and nearly raped, blatantly out in the open, but we don’t know if it counts as assault yet. I had to fight for an entire year to make it clear that there was something wrong with this situation.

When I was told to be prepared in case we didn’t win, I said, I can’t prepare for that. He was guilty the minute I woke up. No one can talk me out of the hurt he caused me. Worst of all, I was warned, because he now knows you don’t remember, he is going to get to write the script. He can say whatever he wants and no one can contest it. I had no power, I had no voice, I was defenseless. My memory loss would be used against me. My testimony was weak, was incomplete, and I was made to believe that perhaps, I am not enough to win this. His attorney constantly reminded the jury, the only one we can believe is Brock, because she doesn’t remember. That helplessness was traumatizing.

Instead of taking time to heal, I was taking time to recall the night in excruciating detail, in order to prepare for the attorney’s questions that would be invasive, aggressive, and designed to steer me off course, to contradict myself, my sister, phrased in ways to manipulate my answers. Instead of his attorney saying, Did you notice any abrasions? He said, You didn’t notice any abrasions, right? This was a game of strategy, as if I could be tricked out of my own worth. The sexual assault had been so clear, but instead, here I was at the trial, answering questions like:

How old are you? How much do you weigh? What did you eat that day? Well what did you have for dinner? Who made dinner? Did you drink with dinner? No, not even water? When did you drink? How much did you drink? What container did you drink out of? Who gave you the drink? How much do you usually drink? Who dropped you off at this party? At what time? But where exactly? What were you wearing? Why were you going to this party? What’ d you do when you got there? Are you sure you did that? But what time did you do that? What does this text mean? Who were you texting? When did you urinate? Where did you urinate? With whom did you urinate outside? Was your phone on silent when your sister called? Do you remember silencing it? Really because on page 53 I’d like to point out that you said it was set to ring. Did you drink in college? You said you were a party animal? How many times did you black out? Did you party at frats? Are you serious with your boyfriend? Are you sexually active with him? When did you start dating? Would you ever cheat? Do you have a history of cheating? What do you mean when you said you wanted to reward him? Do you remember what time you woke up? Were you wearing your cardigan? What color was your cardigan? Do you remember any more from that night? No? Okay, well, we’ll let Brock fill it in.

I was pummeled with narrowed, pointed questions that dissected my personal life, love life, past life, family life, inane questions, accumulating trivial details to try and find an excuse for this guy who had me half naked before even bothering to ask for my name. After a physical assault, I was assaulted with questions designed to attack me, to say see, her facts don’t line up, she’s out of her mind, she’s practically an alcoholic, she probably wanted to hook up, he’s like an athlete right, they were both drunk, whatever, the hospital stuff she remembers is after the fact, why take it into account, Brock has a lot at stake so he’s having a really hard time right now.

And then it came time for him to testify and I learned what it meant to be revictimized. I want to remind you, the night after it happened he said he never planned to take me back to his dorm. He said he didn’t know why we were behind a dumpster. He got up to leave because he wasn’t feeling well when he was suddenly chased and attacked. Then he learned I could not remember.

So one year later, as predicted, a new dialogue emerged. Brock had a strange new story, almost sounded like a poorly written young adult novel with kissing and dancing and hand holding and lovingly tumbling onto the ground, and most importantly in this new story, there was suddenly consent. One year after the incident, he remembered, oh yeah, by the way she actually said yes, to everything, so.

He said he had asked if I wanted to dance. Apparently I said yes. He’d asked if I wanted to go to his dorm, I said yes. Then he asked if he could finger me and I said yes. Most guys don’t ask, can I finger you? Usually there’s a natural progression of things, unfolding consensually, not a Q and A. But apparently I granted full permission. He’s in the clear. Even in his story, I only said a total of three words, yes yes yes, before he had me half naked on the ground. Future reference, if you are confused about whether a girl can consent, see if she can speak an entire sentence. You couldn’t even do that. Just one coherent string of words. Where was the confusion? This is common sense, human decency.

According to him, the only reason we were on the ground was because I fell down. Note; if a girl falls down help her get back up. If she is too drunk to even walk and falls down, do not mount her, hump her, take off her underwear, and insert your hand inside her vagina. If a girl falls down help her up. If she is wearing a cardigan over her dress don’t take it off so that you can touch her breasts. Maybe she is cold, maybe that’s why she wore the cardigan.

Next in the story, two Swedes on bicycles approached you and you ran. When they tackled you why didn’t say, “Stop! Everything’s okay, go ask her, she’s right over there, she’ll tell you.” I mean you had just asked for my consent, right? I was awake, right? When the policeman arrived and interviewed the evil Swede who tackled you, he was crying so hard he couldn’t speak because of what he’d seen.

Your attorney has repeatedly pointed out, well we don’t know exactly when she became unconscious. And you’re right, maybe I was still fluttering my eyes and wasn’t completely limp yet. That was never the point. I was too drunk to speak English, too drunk to consent way before I was on the ground. I should have never been touched in the first place. Brock stated, “At no time did I see that she was not responding. If at any time I thought she was not responding, I would have stopped immediately.” Here’s the thing; if your plan was to stop only when I became unresponsive, then you still do not understand. You didn’t even stop when I was unconscious anyway! Someone else stopped you. Two guys on bikes noticed I wasn’t moving in the dark and had to tackle you. How did you not notice while on top of me?

You said, you would have stopped and gotten help. You say that, but I want you to explain how you would’ve helped me, step by step, walk me through this. I want to know, if those evil Swedes had not found me, how the night would have played out. I am asking you; Would you have pulled my underwear back on over my boots? Untangled the necklace wrapped around my neck? Closed my legs, covered me? Pick the pine needles from my hair? Asked if the abrasions on my neck and bottom hurt? Would you then go find a friend and say, Will you help me get her somewhere warm and soft? I don’t sleep when I think about the way it could have gone if the two guys had never come. What would have happened to me? That’s what you’ll never have a good answer for, that’s what you can’t explain even after a year.

On top of all this, he claimed that I orgasmed after one minute of digital penetration. The nurse said there had been abrasions, lacerations, and dirt in my genitalia. Was that before or after I came?

To sit under oath and inform all of us, that yes I wanted it, yes I permitted it, and that you are the true victim attacked by Swedes for reasons unknown to you is appalling, is demented, is selfish, is damaging. It is enough to be suffering. It is another thing to have someone ruthlessly working to diminish the gravity of validity of this suffering.

My family had to see pictures of my head strapped to a gurney full of pine needles, of my body in the dirt with my eyes closed, hair messed up, limbs bent, and dress hiked up. And even after that, my family had to listen to your attorney say the pictures were after the fact, we can dismiss them. To say, yes her nurse confirmed there was redness and abrasions inside her, significant trauma to her genitalia, but that’s what happens when you finger someone, and he’s already admitted to that. To listen to your attorney attempt to paint a picture of me, the face of girls gone wild, as if somehow that would make it so that I had this coming for me. To listen to him say I sounded drunk on the phone because I’m silly and that’s my goofy way of speaking. To point out that in the voicemail, I said I would reward my boyfriend and we all know what I was thinking. I assure you my rewards program is non transferable, especially to any nameless man that approaches me.

He has done irreversible damage to me and my family during the trial and we have sat silently, listening to him shape the evening. But in the end, his unsupported statements and his attorney’s twisted logic fooled no one. The truth won, the truth spoke for itself.

You are guilty. Twelve jurors convicted you guilty of three felony counts beyond reasonable doubt, that’s twelve votes per count, thirty ­six yeses confirming guilt, that’s one hundred percent, unanimous guilt. And I thought finally it is over, finally he will own up to what he did, truly apologize, we will both move on and get better. Then I read your statement.

If you are hoping that one of my organs will implode from anger and I will die, I’m almost there. You are very close. This is not a story of another drunk college hook­up with poor decision making. Assault is not an accident. Somehow, you still don’t get it. Somehow, you still sound confused. I will now read portions of the defendant’s statement and respond to them.

You said, Being drunk I just couldn’t make the best decisions and neither could she.

Alcohol is not an excuse. Is it a factor? Yes. But alcohol was not the one who stripped me, fingered me, had my head dragging against the ground, with me almost fully naked. Having too much to drink was an amateur mistake that I admit to, but it is not criminal. Everyone in this room has had a night where they have regretted drinking too much, or knows someone close to them who has had a night where they have regretted drinking too much. Regretting drinking is not the same as regretting sexual assault. We were both drunk, the difference is I did not take off your pants and underwear, touch you inappropriately, and run away. That’s the difference.

You said, If I wanted to get to know her, I should have asked for her number, rather than asking her to go back to my room.

I’m not mad because you didn’t ask for my number. Even if you did know me, I would not want to be in this situation. My own boyfriend knows me, but if he asked to finger me behind a dumpster, I would slap him. No girl wants to be in this situation. Nobody. I don’t care if you know their phone number or not.

You said, I stupidly thought it was okay for me to do what everyone around me was doing, which was drinking. I was wrong.

Again, you were not wrong for drinking. Everyone around you was not sexually assaulting me. You were wrong for doing what nobody else was doing, which was pushing your erect dick in your pants against my naked, defenseless body concealed in a dark area, where partygoers could no longer see or protect me, and my own sister could not find me. Sipping fireball is not your crime. Peeling off and discarding my underwear like a candy wrapper to insert your finger into my body, is where you went wrong. Why am I still explaining this.

You said, During the trial I didn’t want to victimize her at all. That was just my attorney and his way of approaching the case.

Your attorney is not your scapegoat, he represents you. Did your attorney say some incredulously infuriating, degrading things? Absolutely. He said you had an erection, because it was cold.

You said, you are in the process of establishing a program for high school and college students in which you speak about your experience to “speak out against the college campus drinking culture and the sexual promiscuity that goes along with that.”

Campus drinking culture. That’s what we’re speaking out against? You think that’s what I’ve spent the past year fighting for? Not awareness about campus sexual assault, or rape, or learning to recognize consent. Campus drinking culture. Down with Jack Daniels. Down with Skyy Vodka. If you want talk to people about drinking go to an AA meeting. You realize, having a drinking problem is different than drinking and then forcefully trying to have sex with someone? Show men how to respect women, not how to drink less.

Drinking culture and the sexual promiscuity that goes along with that. Goes along with that, like a side effect, like fries on the side of your order. Where does promiscuity even come into play? I don’t see headlines that read, Brock Turner, Guilty of drinking too much and the sexual promiscuity that goes along with that. Campus Sexual Assault. There’s your first powerpoint slide. Rest assured, if you fail to fix the topic of your talk, I will follow you to every school you go to and give a follow up presentation.

Lastly you said, I want to show people that one night of drinking can ruin a life.

A life, one life, yours, you forgot about mine. Let me rephrase for you, I want to show people that one night of drinking can ruin two lives. You and me. You are the cause, I am the effect. You have dragged me through this hell with you, dipped me back into that night again and again. You knocked down both our towers, I collapsed at the same time you did. If you think I was spared, came out unscathed, that today I ride off into sunset, while you suffer the greatest blow, you are mistaken. Nobody wins. We have all been devastated, we have all been trying to find some meaning in all of this suffering. Your damage was concrete; stripped of titles, degrees, enrollment. My damage was internal, unseen, I carry it with me. You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.

See one thing we have in common is that we were both unable to get up in the morning. I am no stranger to suffering. You made me a victim. In newspapers my name was “unconscious intoxicated woman”, ten syllables, and nothing more than that. For a while, I believed that that was all I was. I had to force myself to relearn my real name, my identity. To relearn that this is not all that I am. That I am not just a drunk victim at a frat party found behind a dumpster, while you are the All­ American swimmer at a top university, innocent until proven guilty, with so much at stake. I am a human being who has been irreversibly hurt, my life was put on hold for over a year, waiting to figure out if I was worth something.

My independence, natural joy, gentleness, and steady lifestyle I had been enjoying became distorted beyond recognition. I became closed off, angry, self deprecating, tired, irritable, empty. The isolation at times was unbearable. You cannot give me back the life I had before that night either. While you worry about your shattered reputation, I refrigerated spoons every night so when I woke up, and my eyes were puffy from crying, I would hold the spoons to my eyes to lessen the swelling so that I could see. I showed up an hour late to work every morning, excused myself to cry in the stairwells, I can tell you all the best places in that building to cry where no one can hear you. The pain became so bad that I had to explain the private details to my boss to let her know why I was leaving. I needed time because continuing day to day was not possible. I used my savings to go as far away as I could possibly be. I did not return to work full time as I knew I’d have to take weeks off in the future for the hearing and trial, that were constantly being rescheduled. My life was put on hold for over a year, my structure had collapsed.

I can’t sleep alone at night without having a light on, like a five year old, because I have nightmares of being touched where I cannot wake up, I did this thing where I waited until the sun came up and I felt safe enough to sleep. For three months, I went to bed at six o’clock in the morning.

I used to pride myself on my independence, now I am afraid to go on walks in the evening, to attend social events with drinking among friends where I should be comfortable being. I have become a little barnacle always needing to be at someone’s side, to have my boyfriend standing next to me, sleeping beside me, protecting me. It is embarrassing how feeble I feel, how timidly I move through life, always guarded, ready to defend myself, ready to be angry.

You have no idea how hard I have worked to rebuild parts of me that are still weak. It took me eight months to even talk about what happened. I could no longer connect with friends, with everyone around me. I would scream at my boyfriend, my own family whenever they brought this up. You never let me forget what happened to me. At the of end of the hearing, the trial, I was too tired to speak. I would leave drained, silent. I would go home turn off my phone and for days I would not speak. You bought me a ticket to a planet where I lived by myself. Every time a new article come out, I lived with the paranoia that my entire hometown would find out and know me as the girl who got assaulted. I didn’t want anyone’s pity and am still learning to accept victim as part of my identity. You made my own hometown an uncomfortable place to be.

You cannot give me back my sleepless nights. The way I have broken down sobbing uncontrollably if I’m watching a movie and a woman is harmed, to say it lightly, this experience has expanded my empathy for other victims. I have lost weight from stress, when people would comment I told them I’ve been running a lot lately. There are times I did not want to be touched. I have to relearn that I am not fragile, I am capable, I am wholesome, not just livid and weak.

When I see my younger sister hurting, when she is unable to keep up in school, when she is deprived of joy, when she is not sleeping, when she is crying so hard on the phone she is barely breathing, telling me over and over again she is sorry for leaving me alone that night, sorry sorry sorry, when she feels more guilt than you, then I do not forgive you. That night I had called her to try and find her, but you found me first. Your attorney’s closing statement began, “[Her sister] said she was fine and who knows her better than her sister.” You tried to use my own sister against me? Your points of attack were so weak, so low, it was almost embarrassing. You do not touch her.

You should have never done this to me. Secondly, you should have never made me fight so long to tell you, you should have never done this to me. But here we are. The damage is done, no one can undo it. And now we both have a choice. We can let this destroy us, I can remain angry and hurt and you can be in denial, or we can face it head on, I accept the pain, you accept the punishment, and we move on.

Your life is not over, you have decades of years ahead to rewrite your story. The world is huge, it is so much bigger than Palo Alto and Stanford, and you will make a space for yourself in it where you can be useful and happy. But right now, you do not get to shrug your shoulders and be confused anymore. You do not get to pretend that there were no red flags. You have been convicted of violating me, intentionally, forcibly, sexually, with malicious intent, and all you can admit to is consuming alcohol. Do not talk about the sad way your life was upturned because alcohol made you do bad things. Figure out how to take responsibility for your own conduct.

Now to address the sentencing. When I read the probation officer’s report, I was in disbelief, consumed by anger which eventually quieted down to profound sadness. My statements have been slimmed down to distortion and taken out of context. I fought hard during this trial and will not have the outcome minimized by a probation officer who attempted to evaluate my current state and my wishes in a fifteen minute conversation, the majority of which was spent answering questions I had about the legal system. The context is also important. Brock had yet to issue a statement, and I had not read his remarks.

My life has been on hold for over a year, a year of anger, anguish and uncertainty, until a jury of my peers rendered a judgment that validated the injustices I had endured. Had Brock admitted guilt and remorse and offered to settle early on, I would have considered a lighter sentence, respecting his honesty, grateful to be able to move our lives forward. Instead he took the risk of going to trial, added insult to injury and forced me to relive the hurt as details about my personal life and sexual assault were brutally dissected before the public. He pushed me and my family through a year of inexplicable, unnecessary suffering, and should face the consequences of challenging his crime, of putting my pain into question, of making us wait so long for justice.

I told the probation officer I do not want Brock to rot away in prison. I did not say he does not deserve to be behind bars. The probation officer’s recommendation of a year or less in county jail is a soft time­out, a mockery of the seriousness of his assaults, an insult to me and all women. It gives the message that a stranger can be inside you without proper consent and he will receive less than what has been defined as the minimum sentence. Probation should be denied. I also told the probation officer that what I truly wanted was for Brock to get it, to understand and admit to his wrongdoing.

Unfortunately, after reading the defendant’s report, I am severely disappointed and feel that he has failed to exhibit sincere remorse or responsibility for his conduct. I fully respected his right to a trial, but even after twelve jurors unanimously convicted him guilty of three felonies, all he has admitted to doing is ingesting alcohol. Someone who cannot take full accountability for his actions does not deserve a mitigating sentence. It is deeply offensive that he would try and dilute rape with a suggestion of “promiscuity”. By definition rape is not the absence of promiscuity, rape is the absence of consent, and it perturbs me deeply that he can’t even see that distinction.

The probation officer factored in that the defendant is youthful and has no prior convictions. In my opinion, he is old enough to know what he did was wrong. When you are eighteen in this country you can go to war. When you are nineteen, you are old enough to pay the consequences for attempting to rape someone. He is young, but he is old enough to know better.

As this is a first offence I can see where leniency would beckon. On the other hand, as a society, we cannot forgive everyone’s first sexual assault or digital rape. It doesn’t make sense. The seriousness of rape has to be communicated clearly, we should not create a culture that suggests we learn that rape is wrong through trial and error. The consequences of sexual assault needs to be severe enough that people feel enough fear to exercise good judgment even if they are drunk, severe enough to be preventative.

The probation officer weighed the fact that he has surrendered a hard earned swimming scholarship. How fast Brock swims does not lessen the severity of what happened to me, and should not lessen the severity of his punishment. If a first time offender from an underprivileged background was accused of three felonies and displayed no accountability for his actions other than drinking, what would his sentence be? The fact that Brock was an athlete at a private university should not be seen as an entitlement to leniency, but as an opportunity to send a message that sexual assault is against the law regardless of social class.

The Probation Officer has stated that this case, when compared to other crimes of similar nature, may be considered less serious due to the defendant’s level of intoxication. It felt serious. That’s all I’m going to say.

What has he done to demonstrate that he deserves a break? He has only apologized for drinking and has yet to define what he did to me as sexual assault, he has revictimized me continually, relentlessly. He has been found guilty of three serious felonies and it is time for him to accept the consequences of his actions. He will not be quietly excused.

He is a lifetime sex registrant. That doesn’t expire. Just like what he did to me doesn’t expire, doesn’t just go away after a set number of years. It stays with me, it’s part of my identity, it has forever changed the way I carry myself, the way I live the rest of my life.

To conclude, I want to say thank you. To everyone from the intern who made me oatmeal when I woke up at the hospital that morning, to the deputy who waited beside me, to the nurses who calmed me, to the detective who listened to me and never judged me, to my advocates who stood unwaveringly beside me, to my therapist who taught me to find courage in vulnerability, to my boss for being kind and understanding, to my incredible parents who teach me how to turn pain into strength, to my grandma who snuck chocolate into the courtroom throughout this to give to me, my friends who remind me how to be happy, to my boyfriend who is patient and loving, to my unconquerable sister who is the other half of my heart, to Alaleh, my idol, who fought tirelessly and never doubted me. Thank you to everyone involved in the trial for their time and attention. Thank you to girls across the nation that wrote cards to my DA to give to me, so many strangers who cared for me.

Most importantly, thank you to the two men who saved me, who I have yet to meet. I sleep with two bicycles that I drew taped above my bed to remind myself there are heroes in this story. That we are looking out for one another. To have known all of these people, to have felt their protection and love, is something I will never forget.

And finally, to girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought everyday for you. So never stop fighting, I believe you. As the author Anne Lamott once wrote, “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” Although I can’t save every boat, I hope that by speaking today, you absorbed a small amount of light, a small knowing that you can’t be silenced, a small satisfaction that justice was served, a small assurance that we are getting somewhere, and a big, big knowing that you are important, unquestionably, you are untouchable, you are beautiful, you are to be valued, respected, undeniably, every minute of every day, you are powerful and nobody can take that away from you. To girls everywhere, I am with you. Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

COOKIE AND LUCIOUS OPEN UP ABOUT THE SHOW, THEIR LIVES AND MORE

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On Monday morning, Grazia’s Wilmarie van der Merwe attended the press conference for the SA leg of the Empire season 3 tour with Taraji P Henson and Terrence Howard hosted by Fox and DStv.

Fan girl-d so hard RN #LyonsInJozi #Empire

A photo posted by Wilmarievdm (@wilmarievdm) on

 

Both were incredibly friendly, humble and open about their lives, their characters and the show. Taraji commented on how much she’s saddened by the hate the show receives from it portraying street drug dealing because she feels that it’s not far from reality for many people. She went onto explain that although she doesn’t agree with Lucious and Cookie’s decision to get into dealing drugs, it was a means to an end so they could provide for their kids and not follow in their parents’ footsteps.

Terrence, who is not like his ruthless and heartless character Lucious, explained his reasoning behind his character’s behaviour: Lucious is a result of his father’s treatment of him, and that’s why he’s so tough and ruthless with his sons, especially Jamal, who is gay, and Andre, who suffers from bipolar depression. Terrence added that his own father was nothing like Lucious’ and that’s not how he is with his children, so he has to work really hard to get into relaying no emotional attachment.

Despite their tumultuous relationship in the show, Terrence explained that Cookie is the one person that Lucious bends to because of what they’d been through together, including her going to jail for him. When asked why Cookie didn’t let Luscious take the fall, Taraji explained that their kids would have been alone with no one to raise them and would’ve become the statistic, which she would not let happen.

Since the press conference, Taraji and Terrence have been in the media everyday taking pics with fans and celebs alike.
AKA even got to chat to Cookie and hinted that he would love to feature on the show, to which Cookie said, “You never know what could happen,” after commenting on how cute he is and how much she likes African music. She then also reposted AKA’s video on her IG and tagged Empire writer Lee Daniels. So you better watch this space!

 

Last night at an exclusive VIP event, Somizi got up close and personal with Cookie to teach her how to say his popular phrase: “Whoo shem!” Seriously, it is so cute! Watch the vid here:

God’s timing is never late. @tarajiphenson bless yo spirit

A video posted by Somizi (@somizi) on

 

Naturally, Taraji and Terrence threw out some fun facts about themselves and the show:

1. Terrence Howard taught himself how to play instruments and write music.
2. He wrote You Broke Love for the show, but it got cut during the editing process.

3. Cookie’s popular moniker for Anika, “Boo Boo Kitty”, was not scripted, she ad-libbed it.
4. “Boo Boo Kitty” is Taraji’s favourite Cookie line.
5. Taraji was the one who got Terrence Howard the part of Lucious – she told producers there’s no one better for the role.

6. Taraji’s fave song from the show is ‘You’re so Beautiful’ (which is our fave as well!)

7. Terrence’s fave song is ‘You Broke Love’

WE CELEBRATE YEEZY’S BDAY TODAY WITH THE BEST OF HIS MEMES

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Kanye West is celebrating his 39th birthday today and while we love him for many reasons, the countless memes created of him takes the crown. Here are our top ten funny Kanye memes:

A photo posted by Kanye West (@kanye_west_memes) on

 

A photo posted by Cameron Dwyer (@_memes.101_) on

 

A photo posted by Kunye Whest (@kunyewhest) on

A photo posted by Kanye West (@kanye_west_memes) on

A photo posted by Kanye West (@kanye_west_memes) on

A photo posted by Jus Kellz (@italian_medallion) on

 

A photo posted by Dani Mikel (@danimikel) on

 

Happy Bday Yeezus!


MRS RIGHT GUY STRIKES THE RIGHT NOTE AT BOX OFFICE

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Nothing is more wonderful than seeing local films doing well – and Mrs Right Guy secured fifth place at the box office this past weekend.

The romcom, which stars Dineo Moeketsi in the lead, passed the R1 million mark on Monday following its release last Friday. Directed by Adze Ugah. Mrs Right Guy tells the story of lovelorn and broken-hearted Gugu Hlatshwayo, who meets two eligible young men: serial seducer Dumile and good guy Joe. One is a sure-fire way to heartbreak, and the other a guaranteed ticket to true love and happiness…

“We are thrilled that audiences are embracing the film to the extent that we are adding sites this coming weekend,” said producer Dumi Gumbi. “We hope this film will open many more doors and continue to prove that there is a market for South African film,” added producer Mokopi Shale.

Check out the trailer below:

WAIT, ARE PRINCE HARRY AND ELLIE GOULDING A THING?

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(Image: Instagram/@hitfm.be)

(Image: Instagram/@hitfm.be)WAIT

Ever since they were seen being rather touchy-feely at the 2016 Audi Polo Challenge, rumours of a romance between Prince Harry and Ellie Goulding are swirling.

The pair was apparently “canoodling”, and one source even claims they kissed underneath the blankets. To add more fuel to the romantic fire, a source close to the 31-year-old Prince says the pair only had eyes for each other. “He has told friends how much he likes Ellie, and she is clearly taken by him,” the source adds. “They were seen having a kiss before Harry had to go because he was playing polo the next day. Ellie left about five minutes later.”

The 29-year-old singer sung at the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s wedding in 2011 and also attended the closing ceremony of the 2014 Invictus Games, which was created by Prince Harry.

We can’t wait to see if it really is a relationship in bloom!

BEYONCÉ IS BEING SUED FOR LEMONADE

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(Image: Instagram/Beyonce)

Yikes – seems like Queen Bey has been getting some pollen from someone else’s flower. Okay, let us elaborate… Beyoncé has reportedly been slapped with a lawsuit amid allegations that the trailer for her short film Lemonade infringes on filmmaker Matthew Fulk’s copyright for his short film Palinoia, released in 2014.

According to TMZ, Fulk allegedly claims that the promo for Bey’s Lemonade includes a variety of images that are noticeably similar to those used in his short film.

TMZ reports that Fulk has stated that his film depicts a “tumultuous relationship” – just like Bey’s Lemonade – and that his main issue is regarding the copying of the following scenes:

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(Images taken from TMZ.com)

 

OSCAR TO DO HIS FIRST TV INTERVIEW SINCE REEVA’S DEATH

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(Image: ITV)

Former Paralympian Oscar Pistorius will be sitting down to do his first TV interview in over three years since he shot and killed girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp on 14 February 2013.

Pistorius will be speaking to investigative journalist Mark Williams-Thomas in an exclusive one-on-one special titled Oscar Pistorius: The Interview on Britain’s ITV.

In a statement released  by ITV, Oscar will be speaking from his uncle’s home, which is where he’s been staying before he returns to prison.

“In the documentary, Pistorius gives his account of what happened the night he killed his girlfriend and is questioned about key details of the prosecution’s case, which resulted in his conviction. He also talks about his relationship with Reeva, the allegations of his previous abusive behaviour towards her and his previous use of firearms,” ITV said in a statement.

Reeva’s family were reportedly approached to take part in the programme but declined.

The show is set to be aired in Britain later this month, but the SA airing date has not yet been released. Stay posted for updates.

WOULD YOU DINE AT A NAKED RESTAURANT?

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via GIPHY

Public nudity is a known as quite the controversial topic, and has become even more so with the anticipated opening of London’s first ever naked restaurant.

Bunyadi is a venue that encourages guests to strip drown, switch your phone off and enjoy their food offerings. The thought may frighten most, however a shocking number of 42 000 people are already on the wait list, getting ready for the opening on the 11th June.

Given that the name Bunyadi means fundamental, base, and natural in Hindi, it is no surprise that this is what the venue will embody. “We believe people should get the chance to enjoy and experience a night out without any impurities: no chemicals, no artificial colours, no electricity, no gas, no phone, and even no clothes if they wish to”, remarks the founder Seb Lyall. It is all about experiencing “true liberation” for the founder.

We wonder if true liberation will find its way to South Africa.

ZAHARA IS ENGAGED!

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At the South African Music Awards #SAMAawards #sama22 Photo credit: @oyama_dyosiba Dress: @otiz_seflo

A photo posted by Bulelwa Mkutukana (@zaharasa) on

The 27-year-old singer is officially engaged! Despite her shyness to discuss her private life, Zahara’s love life has been in the news for a couple of months now after rumours of her engagement first started swirling back in October last year.

Zahara and her fiancé, Amaza Ntshanga, who is a DJ on Umhlobo Wenene FM, have been dating for just over four years before he popped the question. According to Times Live, it was confirmed on DJ Sbu’s radio comeback announcement, where she couldn’t hide the bling ring on her finger when speaking to TMG Entertainment.

When asked about the jewel on “that” finger, Zahara laughed it off. “You know I don’t talk about my personal life,” she said, despite having a big smile on her face before giving in. “Yes, okay,I’m engaged but I’m not going to tell you to who,” she told Times Live.

Congrats, Z!

JOE BIDEN’S OPEN LETTER TO STANFORD RAPE VICTIM

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screengrab Joe Biden YouTube

(Screengrab Youtube/Biography.com)

Vice President Joe Biden just published this heartbreaking but inspiring open letter to the survivor who was brutally raped by Stanford athlete Brock Turner. Biden has been a long-time supporter of women’s rights in the fight against rape culture and the institutionalized patriarchy society that punishes sexual assault victims and exonerates their attackers. His words are a moving and extremely powerful celebration of the unknown survivor’s strength and resilience in the face of horrifying trauma, and everyone should read this letter.

An Open Letter to a Courageous Young Woman

I do not know your name—but your words are forever seared on my soul. Words that should be required reading for men and women of all ages.

Words that I wish with all of my heart you never had to write.

I am in awe of your courage for speaking out—for so clearly naming the wrongs that were done to you and so passionately asserting your equal claim to human dignity.

And I am filled with furious anger—both that this happened to you and that our culture is still so broken that you were ever put in the position of defending your own worth.

It must have been wrenching—to relive what he did to you all over again. But you did it anyway, in the hope that your strength might prevent this crime from happening to someone else. Your bravery is breathtaking.

You are a warrior—with a solid steel spine.

I do not know your name—but I know that a lot of people failed you that terrible January night and in the months that followed.

Anyone at that party who saw that you were incapacitated yet looked the other way and did not offer assistance. Anyone who dismissed what happened to you as “just another crazy night.” Anyone who asked “what did you expect would happen when you drank that much?” or thought you must have brought it on yourself.

You were failed by a culture on our college campuses where one in five women is sexually assaulted—year after year after year. A culture that promotes passivity. That encourages young men and women on campuses to simply turn a blind eye.

The statistics on college sexual assault haven’t gone down in the past two decades. It’s obscene, and it’s a failure that lies at all our feet.

And you were failed by anyone who dared to question this one clear and simple truth: Sex without consent is rape. Period. It is a crime.

I do not know your name—but thanks to you, I know that heroes ride bicycles.

Those two men who saw what was happening to you—who took it upon themselves to step in—they did what they instinctually knew to be right.

They did not say “It’s none of my business.”

They did not worry about the social or safety implications of intervening, or about what their peers might think.

Those two men epitomize what it means to be a responsible bystander.

To do otherwise—to see an assault about to take place and do nothing to intervene—makes you part of the problem.

Like I tell college students all over this country—it’s on us. All of us.

We all have a responsibility to stop the scourge of violence against women once and for all.

I do not know your name – but I see your unconquerable spirit.

I see the limitless potential of an incredibly talented young woman—full of possibility. I see the shoulders on which our dreams for the future rest.

I see you.

You will never be defined by what the defendant’s father callously termed “20 minutes of action.”

His son will be.

I join your global chorus of supporters, because we can never say enough to survivors: I believe you. It is not your fault.

What you endured is never, never, never, NEVER a woman’s fault.

And while the justice system has spoken in your particular case, the nation is not satisfied.

And that is why we will continue to speak out.

We will speak to change the culture on our college campuses—a culture that continues to ask the wrong questions: What were you wearing?

Why were you there? What did you say? How much did you drink?

Instead of asking: Why did he think he had license to rape?

We will speak out against those who seek to engage in plausible deniability. Those who know that this is happening, but don’t want to get involved. Who believe that this ugly crime is “complicated.”

We will speak of you—you who remain anonymous not only to protect your identity, but because you so eloquently represent “every woman.”

We will make lighthouses of ourselves, as you did—and shine.

Your story has already changed lives.

You have helped change the culture.

You have shaken untold thousands out of the torpor and indifference towards sexual violence that allows this problem to continue.

Your words will help people you have never met and never will.

You have given them the strength they need to fight.

And so, I believe, you will save lives.

I do not know your name—but I will never forget you.

The millions who have been touched by your story will never forget you.

Letter via Occupy Democrats

 

And if everyone who shared your letter on social media, or who had a private conversation in their own homes with their daughters and sons, draws upon the passion, the outrage, and the commitment they feel right now the next time there is a choice between intervening and walking away—then I believe you will have helped to change the world for the better.


TODAY’S HEADLINES AND HOT STORIES

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Sometimes it gets a bit crazy trying to keep up with all the rich and famous peeps. So, in case you missed out, here are the biggest moments you need to know about today:

 

J’SOMETHING GETS TATTOO TO HONOUR AND REMEMBER HIS FATHER
After the sad news that recent cover guy J’Something’s father had passed away, J and his brother decided to get a matching tattoo to honour their father.  “My dad had this peace symbol on his left arm. My brother and I got this in remembrance of him,” J’ Something wrote on Instagram.

My dad had this peace symbol on his left arm.. My brother and I got this in remembrance of him!

A photo posted by J’Something™ (@jsomethingmusic) on

 

BIEBS GOT INVOLVED IN A SMACKDOWN

You know when you’re rooting for someone because you believe that there’s more to them than how they behave – but then they do something and you just drop and shake your head? That’s us RN with the Biebs. Justin got involved in a fight after throwing a punch at a man (double his size). The man then fought back, pushing BIebs against the glass door and shoving him onto the floor outside his Ohio hotel where he was staying to watch game three  of the NBA Finals. Biebs didn’t seem too phased by the altercation; he posted a pic on Insta with the caption (that has since been removed): “Not a scratch on this pretty boy.” #WhyBiebsWhy Humility is so much sexier. 

A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

 

DJ SBU MAKING HIS RADIO COMEBACK

Yesterday, it was announced that DJ Sbu would be returning to radio to host a morning show, the DJ Sbu Breakfast, which will be broadcast on both Vuma FM in KZN and Rise FM in Mpumalanga.

Talking to TMG Entertainment on Wednesday, DJ Sbu revealed that his breakfast team will include talent he has worked with before and a couple of new faces, like Wits SRC president Nompumelelo Mkatshwa. #Winning.

 

KHLOÉ GET RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST LAMAR

Wait, what? Apart from the recent news that she’s filing for divorce again, we thought things seemed pretty decent between KoKo and Lammy – remember when he attended Kanye’s fashion show with her and the fam? Goes to show things aren’t always what they appear to be… Khlo money is reportedly taking out a restraining order against Lamar, as he’s apparently been verbally abusive to her since she re-filed for divorce. “He totally lost it, calling her every name under the sun and yelling at her for breaking promises she made to him on his death bed,” a source close to them said.

According to a source who spoke to Radar Online, things have become “Pretty vicious, abd he has been bombarding her with bitter texts and drunken rambling messages that are starting to scare her.” The source added: “She’s now considering a restraining order against him because he’s been threatening all kinds of crazy things, from spilling all her secrets to hoping she drops dead.”

WHOA!

 

OBAMA IS PURE CLASS ON JIMMY FALLON

Proving once again that he’s the best, Obama appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon slow-jamming a speech about his past eight years as POTUS, including some blows towards Donald Trump. Honestly, we won’t do it justice, you just have to watch for yourself:

 

TARAJI LOVES LOCAL FASHION

After telling AKA that she thinks he’s “cute” and mentioning how much she likes African music, bumping into Pearl at Woolworths, hanging with Somizi, Taraji P. Henson is now also showing her appreciation for local fashion when she snapped a pic on IG on wearing a NtoZinhle accessories necklace. Terrence was spotted sporting a Xhosa scarf by NtoZinhle as well.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN AND LINDSAY LOHAN: STYLE TWINS

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When we see celebs wearing the same outfit, we have to ask: “Who wore it better?” Yet Kourtney Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan just changed that…

Dubbing themselves as each other’s long-lost twin, the two took to Snapchat and Instagram in sharing the numerous times their styles have looked similar. The latest twinning moment was in is a beautiful frilled Elisabetta Frenchi dress.

Is this the beginning of the end of style competing? We think so!

#theparenttrap my #twin @kourtneykardash has arrived!! ❤️

A photo posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on

✌️

A photo posted by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BOITY AS A TRAINED SANGOMA

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Thank you for this beautiful number, @quiteria_george #SAMA22 #OwnYourThrone

A photo posted by Boitumelo Thulo (@boity) on

In yesterday’s Sunday World newspaper, journalist Ngwaka Malatji revealed and confirmed that actress and presenter Boity Thulo is indeed a trained sangoma after she gave in to her calling to become a traditional healer.

Boity was spotted wearing sangoma beads at last weekend’s SAMAs as she walked the red carpet, and according to Sunday World sources, Boity was telling her friends that she had completed her training in order to become a sangoma.

“Yes, I did go thwasa but I’m not going to practise as a sangoma. This is a very sensitive matter that I don’t want to talk about in the media. It’s a personal matter and way too deep to be reduced into a celebrity gossip in the newspaper. It’s a secret. It’s so much deeper,” Boity revealed to Sunday World.

She further revealed to the publication that she can’t and won’t disclose who her gobela (teacher) is, nor under which category she falls.

Just over a month ago, rumours started swirling after Boity donned sacred sangoma attire on Club 808. Cultural experts and groups explained that the outfit she was wearing is usually designed to be worn exclusively by sangoma initiates (or inyangas).

Boity simply responded by saying her outfit was in celebration of Africa Month.

DJ ZINHLE ON THE AKA DRAMA AND FINDING NEW LOVE

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The South African DJ has finally opened up about past relationships, twars, parenting and more. After a recorded radio interview on station 947 with Anele, DJ Zinhle revealed some juicy stuff. Here is the low down:

  • After jokingly telling Anele that getting her arm tattoo was a therapeutic experience after going through some “rubbish”, the star confirmed that she indeed is happy.
  • She said that though it is not official, she is currently dating. All we know is that the mystery man wears a suit and gives the DJ butterflies. #cute
  • When asked whether she would be okay with Bonang Matheba being Kairo’s stepmom, Zinhle answered yes.
  • She further added to her answer by stating that, “Kiernan [AKA] knows what’s best for Kairo. And if he thinks she’s what’s best for Kairo, then Bonang and I are having tea.”

Now that is strength. That is grace.

 

TODAY’S HEADLINES AND HOT STORIES

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Sometimes it gets a bit crazy trying to keep up with all the rich and famous peeps. So, in case you missed out, here are the biggest moments you need to know about today:

 

CHRISTINA GRIMMIE GOT SHOT AND KILLED

Christina Grimmie (a 22-year-old contestant on The Voice) was shot and killed when she was signing autographs after her show at The Plaza Live Theatre, Orlando, when a man, identified as Kevin James Loibl, 27, who was armed with two guns and knife, approached her and opened fire, according to police. Christina was rushed to hospital but unfortunately didn’t make it. Kevin – who had reportedly travelled from another city in Florida to Orlando to kill her – shot and killed himself after he was tackled by Christina’s brother, Marcus.

#HSUS thank you for doing what you do; last night was incredible. @humanesociety

A photo posted by Christina Grimmie (@therealgrimmie) on

 

SERENA WILLIAMS IS THE HIGHEST PAID FEMALE ATHLETE

Hear that? That’s the sound of #BlackGirlMagic being sprinkled all over the world, as Forbes announced that Serena Williams is now the highest paid female athlete, beating out Maria Sharapova, who had topped the list for the past 11 years. If that isn’t #winning and #MotivationMonday, we don’t know what is.

Let’s dance. @nikecourt #stealtheshow

A photo posted by Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) on

 

THANDO THABETHE ACCUSED OF BEING A DIVA ON SET

According to sources at the Daily Sun, actress and presenter Thando Thabethe is a diva on the set of Generations: The Legacy, “Thando always throws her toys around in the make-up room, forcing make-up artists to follow her orders.” Another source revealed to the publication that her diva behaviour often delays the make-up schedule, and even though the make-up team tries to fight it, she still gets her way. Always one to shoot straight from the hip, Thando has laughed off the “diva fit” allegations on social media, tweeting: 

 

TAYLOR HAS SWIFTLY BECOME A DESIGNER

After news broke that Talvin had gone their separate way, the internet could not stop joking about the break-up song coming our way soon, as is Tay-Tay’s style. But instead of spending time in studio, Tay has taken a new approach to deal with her break-up – designing greeting cards. T. Swift has teamed up with Papyrus to design cards in aid of charity with encouraging slogans like “You Are Actual Sunshine” and “Yay You!”. Yass Tay!

Taylor has partnered with Papyrus to design some cards, and is donating some proceeds to charity! via 1989TUpdates on Twitter

A photo posted by Taylor Swift Updates (@taylorswift.updates) on

 

 

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